Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
