He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
