you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
