Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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