He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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