My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
My nipple is on Facebook.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
