let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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