The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
