Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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