I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
