hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Porn is love you can see.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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