Where did you get a picture of my penis
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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