so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
