Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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