Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize