If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
