NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Is it penis luge time yet?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
