apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
