return my video game
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
