me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
