I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
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