I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
