I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
