11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
