And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize