We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
