Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize