I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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