we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize