It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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