Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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