i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize