screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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