are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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