so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
