That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
