Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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