why didn't you poke me back
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
