she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
