If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
