I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Randomize