so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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