He disabled his match.com account in front of me
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
