i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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