I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
