a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
