I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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