OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
