So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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