You work out of a Hotel?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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