no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
