His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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