Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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