You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You need Xanax blowdarts
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
