hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
vagina is talking i cant
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I got inside last night via doggy door
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
