Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I met the friendliest cop last night
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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