yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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