I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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