I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
