Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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