it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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