i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
