brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
