The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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