Someone shit on the floor
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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