Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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