Your mouth is God's brothel.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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