Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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