A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
