Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
