Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Randomize
